Sunday, April 11, 2010

But I just can't be with you like this anymore, Alejandro.

So I sincerely thought that I would have lots of really cool postings after/during Spring Break. I thought wrong. It just didn't happen. My break wasn't dull, but I just didn't have time nor desire to write anything, mostly time.

Visiting with my mom and Sheldon and Janet and Doris and Janet's friend Rene was lovely. I cannot express how much being abroad has even further increased the love & appreciation I have for my parents.

But I have 34 more days here, and I hope to post lots. I also have 6 papers and a few thousand more pages, so I'm going to be booked. (YET there is also 2 days is Madrid and 3 days in the Lakes District to look forward too, mostly the oppressing weight of papers and books. It's okay - I'm mildly obsessed.)

Anyway . . .
I've been told multiple times (more like all the time) that I'm weird, something is not right with me, I'm strange. I got it. I acknowledge it. I like to think I'm merely awkward, but that I own my awkwardness. (Right Mary Ellen?) I do, however, like to insist that despite all my circus-like childhood experiences, I'm normal. I think I might be wrong. I'm certainly not better off or worse off, but I'm not normal (I don't know if anyone at NYU is). I really just think that it's taken me 20 years to realize that I've done a lot of things that most people don't really do, making my overall demeanor more removed? harder to impress?

Someone said (when I was about 11) that they felt sorry for whoever I married/dated because I would expect a lot, being exposed to so much. I used to brush off the statement, thinking "not really." False. I do & will continue to do so.

On another note . . .
I need sleep so I can be at the library doors when they open tomorrow morning. . . if I get up when my first alarm goes off. Goal for the next 5 weeks: get up on your first alarm, Dorothy! I think this winter is finally over and in anticipation for spring fever I have added notes like "SERIOUSLY" and "FOOL" (in all caps & color-coded highlighter) to my deadlines for getting drafts done and such. I think the adverb and direct address will really help.

That's all I know, aside from a new other perennial surprises that always seem to pop up - no loose strings, though, I'm tired to tripping over united laces.

xoxo & cheers,

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